No Diplomatic Immunity for Motes

The Approach:

ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONETARY CRIMES DIVISION DATE:

It has been discovered that your contract/inheritance/winning FUND was about being transferred to an unknown account under your name. This attempt was perpetrated by someone who claims to be working for you, and that you have given him due authority to have the FUND moved to the account specified below: SOUTHWESTERN FEDERAL CREDIT UNION WESCORP 924 OVERLAND COURT SAN DIMAS, CA 91772. USA. ACCOUNT NUMBER: 322179133 ABA/ROUTING NUMBER: 1290-41-21-9 SHARETYPE NO.: 25 FINAL CREDIT HABIB FENZI AND CO. (Beneficiary).

The Federal Bureau of Investigation (F.B.I.) waded in after being alerted by the supposed bank. We investigated and found that there is a possible money laundering activity in play. The FUND USD 10,500,000.00 (Ten Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) was found to be deposited in Bank of America in your name pending your consent to have it transferred to the new account indicated above. It was further revealed that initial FUND transfer originated from Nigeria to England and now here in Bank of America in USA. These transfers did not follow due process in line with the international FUND transfer rules and regulation. Consequently,we suspect this be a terrorism funding, drug related fund deposit and/or money laundering.

As stated above, the FUND has your name on it; and you must have it cleared of any connection with any of these illegal activities. Be informed that FAILURE to have this cleared out will attract a JAIL TERM. We will not hesitate to visit the full weight of the law upon you if you do not clear this fund. There is every indication that you are involved in this shady deal.

Finally, you are expected to have the CLEARANCE DOCUMENT obtained from where the FUNDS originated from to have you and your fund cleared. Only then shall we release your FUND as clean money devoid of any illegality, and you will be free of any involvement. To this end, you are to contact Mrs Farida Waziri of the Anti Graft Department of Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (E.F.C.C.) Nigeria and have the DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY SEAL of TRANSFER (DIST) CLEARANCE DOCUMENT obtained. Contact her through this direct email address: efcc.agency.ng@hotmail.com, Note that you have 72hrs to obtain this crucial Documentation. This has to be cleared! You are warned!

Faithfully

Robert S. Mueller

My Response:

Dear Agent Mueller,

I never thought you people would catch up to me. It's been quite a race hasn't it. Just the other day I was telling mother that it has been very quiet and perhaps you people had quit looking for us. Well now that you have our email address and our ten million dollars I suppose there's no more running. If only I had a way to get the rest of my money out of the country before you catch me and take it. You recall that mother and I have collected millions and millions of dollars but I'm sure you are watching all our accounts.... unless you would take some of the money to let us go?

Say this was a hypothetical discussion, how much would it take for us to go free? What about just me and I pay you to arrest mother?

I wait anxiously for your reply.

Jimmy James Alphonso Motes IV