Lt. Harvard Showers

Corresponding with our boys in uniform to keep their spirits up!

The Approach:

Lt. Harvard Showers <h.showers@us.army.mil>:> .

Hello,

My name is Harvard Showers, Please do not be embarrased by my unsolicited e-mail, the urgency of the matter calls for it. I have a business proposal for you which will be beneficial to the both of us. I am a lieutenant in the US Army currently on a peace keeping mission in Iraq. I have about $10 Million that i want to move out of the country. This money was found in boxes some time ago during our routine raid around the base of the former Iraqi dictactor.

I need a good partner out there that i could trust to receive the boxes on my behalf. i have worked out a perfect plan to safely move the boxes to your address so you've got nothing to be afraid of. Your own part of this deal is to find a safe place to keep the money. Give it a thorough thought and get back to me if you are interested. I will furnish you with more details upon getting a response from you and your contact details. I re-assure you that this is risk-free so long as you keep a low profile through out the process. I look forward to your reply and co-operation. I have kept this money for so long, right now that President Barrack Obama is serious about moving us (the last troop) out this 2011 as against the planned July 2013, I need to move this cash out now.

Reply me at harvardshowers@hotmail.com

Regards, Lt.harvard showers harvardshowers77@hotmail.com

My Reply:

Dear Lieutenant Showers

Hahah Harvard Showers... that's a funny name, but on to more important matters. You did in fact embarrass me with your unsolicited e-mail. Yesterday I received three other unsolicited e-mails as well and had myself a right proper hissy fit.

Regardless of my personal feelings about unsolicited e-mails, you proposed a business partnership and my answer is; Yes! I want to help you move that money out of the country. Now when you say move it, will I personally have to come there and fetch this money or will someone else carry it away? If I need to come there, I'm gonna want some assurances I won't end up on some Al Jazeera broadcast bookended by two masked men holding AK47s. Those never end well you know....

You say you want to move the money to my address. Will that be the address I use at the bus station or the basement in my mother's house? I also occasionally use an address provided by the Local Sheriff, but we certainly don't want to be be moving boxes of cash in and out of there. There are people there who will rape you for soup... I'd hate to think what they would do to me for millions of dollars. Oh one more thing, I want 60/40 not a 50/50 split. I got needs man... needs.

Jimbob Splinter Butt