Judgement Day

Okay, I simply could not resist.

The Approach:

I wish to notify you again that you were listed as an heir to the total sum of Four Million Six Hundred Thousand pounds in the codicil and last testament of the deceased. Name now withheld since this is my second letter to you. I contacted you because you bear the surname identity and therefore can present you as the heir to the inheritance. However, I have already sent you this same letter one month ago, but I am not sure if it did get to you since I have not heard from you. I therefore reckoned that you could receive these funds as you are qualified by your name identity. All the legal papers will be processed in your acceptance. In your acceptance of this deal, I request that you kindly forward your letter of acceptance; your current telephone and fax numbers and a forwarding address to enable us file necessary documents at our high court probate division for the release of this sum of money.

Please contact me via my email so that we can get this done immediately.

Kind regards,

Edward Cole.

UNITED KINGDOM. TEL: +44 702 406 85465543

My Response:

Dear Mr. Edward Cole,

I want to thank you for writing to me. It's been a long time since anyone contacted me from the outside and wow, this is an amazing offer. The only problem is the world is scheduled to end on the 21st of May and there's simply not time enough for us to complete this transaction before judgement day. It's a pity that you contacted me today. Just yesterday I gave all my money away (except for $6,000.00 in my savings account) since I won't be needing it. My plan is to burn the remaining money just to see it go up in ashes. I've stocked up the house with enough Spam, Oreo Double Stuff cookies and Miller lite beer to last me though Saturday night assuming the end comes late on the west coast. Today I put the dogs down to avoid putting them through such an ordeal and tomorrow the wife and I plan on burning the house to the ground... hahaha this is a shot at the bank, I've invited them over to discuss my mortgage and plan on surprising them when the house goes up. WHOOSH! ahahahahahahahahah that will be sweet!

Back to matters at hand. I'd love to help you, but we won't be needing any money after Saturday which I'm sure will be a blessing in disguise for you since you now won't need to worry about moving that worthless money. I suggest you simply spend the next few days in quiet inner reflection and spend time with your family.

Jimmy Scooter Motes