Let the Blooding Begin

This approach was interesting. Claiming to be the son of a fallen war criminal (a son who never existed). Other than that, the message is the same. Do these guys attend seminars on writing this stuff?

The Approach:

Dearest One,

This letter may come to you as a surprise based on the fact that I have not had any previous contact with you. Briefly, I am Jim Ghankay Taylor son of Mr Charles McArthur Ghankay Taylor the former President of Republic of Liberia. If you are conversant with the world news you will know all about my father and his present condition now, most especially after being sentenced to jail by the International Court of Law in Hague, Netherlands.

I have being in the United States schooling since late nineties even before the out-broke of civil war in Liberia. My father revealed to me during my last visit to him in the prison about his fund (US$ 30 Million) that he deposited in a bank here in Burkina Faso.

I have been able to identify myself to the bank Director who is ready to cooperate in releasing the fund to whosoever i present my father’s Foreign Partner which is in accordance with the injunction that was placed on the deposit by my father.

I await your response to enable me mail you more details about the fund and the outline procedure to get it transferred into your home bank account.

Sincerely,

Jim Ghankay Taylor.

E-mail : jim.ghankay45@gmail.com

My Response:

Dear Jim Ghankay Taylor,

No I am not surprised to receive your letter as my psychic foretold of our meeting. She told me to expect a new friend to appear from nowhere who will bring me great happiness and prosperity. Of course mother made fun and threatened to tighten the strings on my trust fund if I didn't show some signs of financial responsibility and also didn't stop leaving the house without trousers. Yes my new friend I did read about your father's difficulties and I have to say it was quite troubling as he seems to be a genuinely nice guy (War Crimes aside).

I feel it's important that I begin by apologizing to you. You state you have been in the United States since the late 90's for "schooling" and there's no easy way to say this so I'll just say it; our education system has obviously failed you. Your written communication skills should be much farther along than they are and it's obviously our fault for not making a better education available to you.

I've discussed this with mother at some length and after reading your letter she immediately called her friends on the school board over for tea and read it aloud to them. They did laugh at your expense I'm afraid, but in the end agreed that you had not received the education you were due as a foreign visitor and son of a popular dictator. By the end of the meeting, they had agreed to pay for you to attend one of the better schools in the U.S. That's right my friend Jim; you have a full scholarship to Bob Hickey's Finishing School and VoTech for Boys! Semester begins in September and I'll surely see you there as I'm on my 23rd year as a student.

I've asked that you are I are room mates so we can talk about this money issue and how best to proceed. I also hope that you don't mind if I get the left side of the bed as it's my favorite and my pet monkey is trained to wipe the drool from my face while I sleep, but only on that side of the bed. This will be such a great year. After you and I go through the "blooding" (a small but important local ritual where the other students will beat us within an inch of our lives for

the first two or three weeks), things will be just wonderful. We will run from class to class to avoid any hallway time leading to more "blooding" and of course NEVER participate in a gym class. Mother says the other boys beat me to toughen me up and as she pays extra for this service, I should not complain.

Please write back soon and we can start coordinating our wardrobes for the year.\

Your new best friend,

Jimmy