Bossy Girlfriends and Octopus Ink

This is one of the truly brief messages intended to contact. The reply to: address was actually two different addresses with a .host domain. One was not responsive and the other was a default apache page. I'll see if I get a response to better understand what they were after.

The Approach:

sarah <IJVojKFX@ijvojkfx.ijvojkfx.cisco.com>

Jun 3, 2018, 5:42 PM

Hey Jim Motes, I wanna talk To you ... Answer me ASAP!

My Response:

Hey Sarah, whose real name appears to be IjVojKFX, which I'm sure sounds beautiful in your native tongue.... hahah native tongue. Have you ever really thought about that term? Native Tongue sounds like something on the menu at one of those hoity-toity restaurants. I hate those places. Not just because they usually won't let me in, but also because they charge so much money for the most god awful food on the planet. I suppose it's a small blessing that they give you such small portions. Once I ordered spaghetti and they brought out this stuff that had gross black noodles. I said very politely, "What the hell did you do to those noodles?" and this smarmy waiter tried to tell me that they cooked it in octopus ink. I just about slapped him down, but reminded myself that I didn't get all dressed up in the leisure suit just to rip it again. So I says to this guy "okay wiseguy, if you cooked it in octopus ink, what did you do with the octopus?" He sniffed his turned up nose and said "we serve it on a cold seafood salad". Sarah, I have to admit, I threw up a little in my mouth. What kind of people eat cold octopus? Who eats spaghetti in ink they squeezed out of some slimy ocean monster? I filled my pockets with dinner rolls and left that place, warning the other guests along the way that they were squirting octo-ink in the food and trying to poison us all. Now words out and I'm "banned" from those places.... and one Chicken King, but that's not my fault either.

So you wanna talk to me huh? Lets get to talking then girl! Wait... wait.... first, I'll need to ask you a couple of questions before we go any further.

1. Did my exwife send you?

2. Are you an employee of any law enforcement agency?

3. Are you a ghost?

4. Is this about someone hitting your car in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot and driving away?

5. Is this about someone hitting your car at Luckys?

6. Is this about anyone hitting your car anywhere and running off?

7. Are we related?

8. Do I owe you or anyone you know money?

I'll look for your answers and yes I realize I didn't send this back ASAP, but to be honest, I was a little afraid. "Answer me ASAP!". Dang, that's some bossy girl attitude right there. I had to think it over before contacting you since the last time I had me a bossy girlfriend, she almost killed me. She said it was an accident, but I saw her aiming right at me with that crossbow and not that liberal news anchor on the TV like she said. I did an investinterrogation and conclused that Firstly, no one shoots at a new 30" flatscreen TV with a crossbow? Secondly, She put a sizable hole in the trailer and never did pay to have it fixed (I used my old sock to plug the hole, but it wasn't never the same) which she would have done if she was sorry. Other than several similar instances over the 7 weeks we were in love, it was good times! At least until she was arrested for writing bad checks to the dollar store.

So hit me with your digits like the kids say and I'll call you up.

Yours,

Jimbob Motes