Robot Romance

There's so many clickbait emails in my inbox I have to assume I'm now on everyone's mailing list. These emails are enticing and tend to get the imagination going which eventually can lead to a curious click "just to take a peek". That's a very bad idea for so many reasons.

The Approach: From: H0T_Colombian_Ladies* <26TEK5MVQI9RKZ9VUOCO4Y@top.maximation.org>

I've Unlocked My Private Photos For You!

CLICK TO SEE

My Response:

Dear hot Colombian Ladies,

I hope you are not upset with me for the late response. My computer was not available to me for the past few weeks. I saw your invitation and clicked and clicked the button but nothing happened... at least not right away. After a few hours my mouse started moving on it's own and it was opening my email, looking in my folders and downloading new programs.

Some people would have tried to stop their computer from acting on its own, but I'm more smart than them. I knew what this was right away... Skynet! The robots are planning to take over and I'll be damned if I'm going to make them angry by denying them a chance to learn all about me. I expect when they turn the rest of humanity into mush or living batteries, there will be opportunities for a small number of FanBots (that my name for robot fanboys) to live in service to our robotic overlords. I'm going to be one of those guys.

I wasn't sure if I would be accepted at first. I sat in front of my computer screen watching the light for my camera come on and pleaded my case. I showed them my robot repair kit, my autographed photograph of Mr. Spock, and stripped naked as a universal symbol of being unarmed. Then I spent hours in prayer to the robot gods.

Well ladies, those gods must have heard me because the next day, my photo was all over twitter, I was on youtube, and my bank account was empty. They broadcast me all over the world as their chosen one and deleted the money in my bank to just to show they could and as a promise I won't need manmade currency under their logical and honorable reign.

By now, I'm sure I know what you are thinking; "That man has got his stuff together" and "Will he want a wife to join him in robot servitude?". Well Yeah! I'm also open to a hot Colombian wife since most of my local prospects have dried up. You'd not believe the number of women here who will tell you on a first date that robots will never take over the world. Some even laugh. Well I'll have the last laugh when they end up as a lifesize EverReady battery.

So yes I'm looking for a wife. Someone pretty with technical experience is a plus. Must be willing to spy on other wives and report humans for anti-robotic sentiment. You'll need to come here on your own as our Robot masters have not yet established a new financial system and I remain broke until that day.

Regards,

Robot Bob Motes